"A 187's in progress nigga, just as soon as i pull this trigger.."

-Eazy e

now that ive had a few rides on my new fighter jet, i can safely say its a stone cold quiver killer. climbs like an xc race bike, descends like light duty dh rig, kicks ass like rambo in his later films. its also strikingly handsome, helping me pick up the beautiful women that are found all over the trails of pisgah. well, maybe thats a stretch but hey we can all have dreams.

in much more important news, a ropeswing is now functioning in the greater Transylvania county area. its a beautiful thing. from now on ill be doing my interval training on the ropeswing. its coach Thad approved, level 2 USA cycling coaching type stuff. don't worry about it- when your ready you'll know. just keep humping that powertap sucker. I'll be swinging to success.

actually i don't even have to worry about success, what with all the new recruits coming in. they've already laid claim to all the wins this fall, which is great for me. all i gotta do is sit back and relax. its nice having the omnium monkey off your back, but i will say it ain't gonna happen on a khs xc bike. good luck with that.

as for the ongoing saga of CATFACE, shes working on some new moves that aren't quite ready to unveil to the world, as well as doing some max speed catclaw drift-point testing on the hardwood floors around the birdhouse. i can't deny that she's mine after seeing her affinity for a high speed flattrack corner. just wait till she gets in the dirt.

Dano out.

On the Hunt

Thats right.




I'm going hunting.


we need a back story on this one so here goes...

I'm moving into a new place in a few months and its pretty awesome. currently its occupado by one johanne tuttle, so I'm hoping by sleeping in the same place she has I'll gain some sort of edge or motivation. i doubt it but we'll see. so yep moving. its gonna be good, but theres a catch- besides Jo and timmay theres one more member of the house. he's small, black, and bearded. yep, dick bandit is there. every time i see ol' DB he's straight pinned, ape shit crazy, and nonstop 24/7. i appreciate the energy, but if I'm living with this animal, we're gonna have to take it down a notch once in a while. I've been trying to figure out the best way to do this, and i think I've got it. bandit needs a nemesis. bandit needs a cat, a big old mean one that'll kick his ass once in a while.

I believe I've found this cat. after the ride last night, i was talking with a dude that works at Appletree, and he was telling me about all these wild cats behind their business.

dude: "we've got like ten wild cats behind work."

dano: "oh yeah? sweet I'll come get one tomorrow"

dude: "you better bring a cat trap cause they ain't just gonna jump into your lap"

Cat trap eh? what is a cat trap? i had to google...

so there it is. it looks like I'll need a lobster trap, a rock, an empty case of beer, and some scrap wood.

Bandit is going down.

dano out.

oh hot damn, this is my jam!!!

after a good three weeks (almost) of clean godlike living, i was beginning to wonder when the devil would come calling again, and came he did. i'm starting to realize that the whole thing about every action has an equal and opposite reaction applies to me and partying/ straightedging as well. its kind of like how the U.S. guvment put out any forest fires that sprang up in the U.S. for the better part of 60 yrs and then has all these issues with massive, out of control fires. Instead of letting nature run its course, they created an unnatural disaster by trying to make things better. The same thing is happening with my dryspells i think. im really good for a few weeks or so, but once i start again all hell breaks loose because im soooooooo thirsty. so thirsty. While the resulting few days are always filled with ridiculosity (similar to americanosity; a term coined by Pretty earlier in history), im not so sure that they're very good for me.

case in point- right now i have feline leukemia. really? i don't know, i don't have health insurance so im not going to a doctor and that sounds as good as any other disease to me so feline leukemia it is. anyways, i think this affliction may be a direct result of multiple nights of substituting sleep (not neccesary) for hard drinking (neccesary). i'm going to research this more in depth and get back to you in a few days.

straight chillin.

Dano out.