Showing posts with label lard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lard. Show all posts

Friday, November 28, 2008

You're Fat.

man, thanksgiving is the shit!! i just got fatter and fatter yesterday. i bet i couldn't even make 1 lap at eddies pumptrack now without have a cholesterol induced heart attack taking me from this world. its just that awesome.

oh man, my brother the mini bear just got this fancy gaps unit. i don't really like GPS units cause they remind me of my number one most hated object on earth.
POWERTAP.

anyways,this GPS was firing off heading to my aunts yesterday with the fam, and it was all cool until we needed to go to her house. then it gave us 4 right turns in a row and put us right back on the highway. The old man just about threw it out the window, which was awesome. joey would have been sooo bummed and i would have laughed even more. he was pissed.

whatever, family time is good. i don't see enough of my folks since i moved to the great white north.

check it out - I'm gonna start doing triathlons. cool huh?



I'm still working on my wind tunnels tests but i should be ready for domination by the spring thawing.

I heard a nasty little rumor that our buddy St. Marie might be out for 6 months with a busted knee. That truly sucks dude. get well soon.

by the way, you think i could borrow your new road bike? you know being that your not really using it an all...

same team dude.

dano out.



Wednesday, November 26, 2008

im fat.

so so fat, i weighed myself today and I'm a 155 pounds of pure white blubber. mmmmm delicious. i love not racing or riding really. i can feel my gut right now sitting here, the huge taco bell burrito trying (unsuccessfully) to be digested in my stomach, only to go straight to my huge child bearing hips. hey at least my pants might stay up now. i feel like I'm a dancer in a Lil Jon video most of the time. YEEEEEAAAHHH!!! getting fat is the best thing ever, though. it gives me an excuse to drive my truck to school, cause I'm too fat to walk; drive my truck to the grocery store that's 100 yards away, cause I'm too fat to walk; drive my truck to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, cause I'm too fat to walk. you get the picture. hopefully ill be able to keep up with mike v. in an eating contest soon. YEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

OK, so besides the fact that I'm a humongous lardass (the crowning achievement of my life to date, by the way) my buddy Joe came up this weekend with two roadies who shall remain nameless.







they were lame, so we gave them timeout in their room.




yep, Joe and i had a damn good time, the pretty and fancy show was in full effect all weekend from the moment Joe showed up till the second he left. There's a good chance that Joe's gonna be up here all Summer this year, I'm just about fully convinced Brevard might burn to the ground if that happened.

we'd be damn useless at the least, that's for sure.

oh i got my ass kicked by a girl too!







yes, i even tried my secret move. you know the one, you have to press double down left left right on the controller to activate it. unfortunately i was side stepped from my my divebomb couch berm shot. damn.


better luck next time, punk.

this ones for the girls,

Dano out.



"my body stay vicious, i be up in the gym just workin on my fitness"