Tuesday, February 26, 2008

it came from the swamps

man its been raining a lot down here in the swamplands. every mtb ride has had continuous sections of blasting through primordial ooze and commuting has resulted in a lot of wet stinky t shirts. not that i mind being stinky that much, but it hasn't been all warm either just so so. the riding reminds me of jacksonville. yall remember that shitshow right?

Here's a little chris j. shot to remind you...

I've been joking with peeps a lot recently about sponsors and bike racing and what a pain in the ass it is. Bitchin mitch and i were out roadie ridin a few weeks back and he was telling me about what a clusterfuck his race team has been this year and how over it he was. It seems like most of the people that are into that sort of thing i talk to have had the same experience. I race mtb so i don't really worry about sponsorship (there isn't any really) but there are some teams out there that seem to get some help. i think its cool, but all the teams i see are pretty straight laced operations. red, white, and blue kits, thanking the lord in podium speeches, voting for Dubbya, that sort of thing. If thats what your into ok then have at it. but im not and neither are a lot of people i hang out and ride with. In fact, i'd say a majority of serious riders in know aren't into that shit. So this is the thinking i've been having over the past few weeks. Start my own team, one that isn't all about pleasing the squares of the world. its too lopsided out there right now and it needs to be fixed. we need more misfits instead of nickleback. more PBR recovery instead of Electrolyte replenishers. more singlespeeds and a hell of a lot less powertaps. I'm gonna work on this, stay tuned.

rat shit racing is coming.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

its over.

i jumped straight off that wagon last night and its awesome.

yep dans back. i just probably won't be out every night for a while, but the sickness is totally gone, i feel great, so i figure i can end this total sobriety thing for a while. thank god, i was bored. Pretty high five, meotch, and myself had a fun damn ride yesterday rolling thorough our lovely swamp/city of gville. we checked out some new trail stunts somebody's putting up (mitch has pics up on his site i think) and rolled through the old dirt jumps. nothing in particular stood out to me on the ride, it was just fun. im heading out today to show a bunch of dudes that work for specialized around the city trails. i don't really know why their in florida but they are and they want to check it out, so check it out we will. it should be fun, and we'll hit up campus around 2 so i can show them the real reason we are all here in florida. hottest girls in the 50 states for sure. boom!

speaking of booms, kickball tonight with ian. do you know ian? here he is...
pic stolen from mikey v. swiped!
not sure what this weekend will bring, but it'll be in gvile so thats never good for the health. sunday night Lucero is playing and im stoked for that.
song of the day- 5 shots of whiskey, Hank III. there's no better country singer to drink to than Hank 1, 2, or 3.
dano out.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The weekend is over. Im still sober. Take it and love it.

12 Hrs of Santos rolled out this weekend with a uber fun course set up around the vortex pit and dirt jumps. I had to work on saturday so i wasn't planning on racing, but fri night i ended up joining up with a team whose 4th person had to bail last minute. i rolled down straight after work and showed up around 6 pm ready to go. thats when i found out we where in last place and had been lapped by quite a few teams. sweet!! talia pretty much hands me the team band and says have fun, so i rolled out to see just how long i could go at 100% effort before i imploded. first lap, no issues, 40 mins with a bunch of skids not knowing where the course went. souds good i figured i could knock at least a minute off in the second lap with a little course knowledge, maybe even catch chris jusasomthin who was limping around the course in the solo class up ahead. of course 10 mins in my sweet hid niterider light goes out (gotta love not working $600 lights) so i find a point to cut off the course and sprint back to the pits and dig around for a battery. I find kelli's and sprint back to where i got off and start roasting trying to make up lost time. im rolling through the course about to hit the second red trail section when i hear big mitch hollering at me saying that regan woodall was just ahead and to try and cath him. hell yeah! i hit that NOS tank and roll up on regan in the first bit of the red. we juke out for a bit laughing cause we weren't even in the same class before i had to roll on being that i was trying to make up lost time an his team was winning the open money by 30 minutes or something absurd. 52 minutes for the second lap even with all the light bullshit. i rolled out for the third lap knowing that i just had to be back before an hour and had an uneventful 43 minute finisher to my ride. below is an interpretation of my pass on regan.

that pic is a slow motion version obviously.

im selling some bikes to pay for my spring break trip up to asheville. go to the goody and buy them please. id really like to see the girl, and the ridings pretty sweet too.

dano out.

Friday, February 15, 2008

oh man i lot of junk has happened since the last time ive written some words on this crap. i've been slacking on the typing and the culprit is sobriety. while i may have better grammer now (thanks for pointing that out fisher, but im not changing it.) its just not as fun. i feel like im religious or something. i've been staying in at night and getting up early and stuff. this ain't gonna last. lets see whats been happening.

mitch an i went out for a st. valentines day massacre ride that consisted of us riding road bikes for 2 hrs at 18 mph and not very bloody at all really. i did find an old picture of mitch and kelly though. check it out.

doesn't really look much like kelly, but they got mitch spot on perfect!

wait till those roadies feel the wrath of mitches secret training technique. its bodacious!!

this weekend is the 12 of santos, which i wasn't planning on racing cause i had to work till 3, but now i'll be on a fun team and get to do a bunch of laps in a row at the end of the day when i get down there. sweet, im stoked. look for me, i'll be the college kid not drinking.

i'm heading over to the villin warehouse next week to test ride my new bike. yeah, its finally (almost) done. 650b wheels, i dunno we'll see on those.

artist of the week- immacculate technique, the angriest dude out right now. i dig it.

less then a month till i get to see the girl. i think thats part of the surlyness...



Monday, February 11, 2008

i made a t shirt today to wear to the first serc race in celebration of my newfound straightedge-ness.

bring it on bitches.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

i typed my name into google image and this what came up. so dan dare it is then.

today was the great gville road race yall. i rolled on down around ten in the morning with full intentions to sign up and race that cat 5 fiasco. i get down and am chilling with the parents watching the masters grind their 3,000 dollar carbon wheels against the curbs when benJAMmin rolls up looking completly disgusted with something. turns out the entry fee after all the addons they make you get is right at $50. what!? this is for 25 minutes of riding guys. thats $2 a minute. two words, fuck that. i'll just keep my money thank you promotors, and way to be encouraging in getting new riders into your sport. i was thinking i might do some road races this year but at that price, i'll just stay home and ride around campus looking at girls tanning themselves. way better then staring at a dudes ass for 30 minutes of sprints. whatever, i'll be on the trails if you need me..

next weekend is the 12hrs of santos. this used to be a razorback classic, kind of an unoffical opener to the new season in the dirty dirty. we'll see how the new venue pans out. i might, might, be on at tentative team with gary yates, victor alber, some south florida cuban, and your truly. it would be a roaster of a squad and might even make some money. who knows though, i might have to work and run all my hopes and dreams. what would i do without racing? oh god please no, racing is my life, its all that matters.

oh wait thats not the case at all. it is fun though, and i like going fast and making motorcycle noises so i fit in well at them.

in other happenings, this sickness that i've been plagued with just won't go away, so im cutting all alchohol out of my system until i feel energised again. this make take a month, may take a week, i don't know. but its got to be done because im becoming (gasp!) a frat boy. party all the time, sleep in, drink everyday, wear flip flops. gotta cut that shit out. especially the flip flops, that shits for fairys.

song for the day- Anthem (we are the fire) by Trivium.

old school riffs in solid new hardcore. perfect. bump this in the ipod while riding and gain an extra couple mph's for free. shit yeah!

dano out.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

"our situation is a tight one, what ya gonna do, fight or run?"-Biggie

haha tomorrow is the gainesville road race for those of you not in the know, and i've been talked into dusting off the roadie and trying my legs out in the crash five with my roommate ben and pretty high five jo. its gonna be interesting and i've already learned that roadies don't like talking shit like us mtb dudes. eh, fuck em. anyhow im gonna try not to get crashed by some dude with his underwear on under his spandex and his jersey tucked into his shorts. wish me luck, im gonna need it to stay alive in this one. especially considering that technical riding is my strong point and power straights are my absolute low point as a rider. ah shit, here we go!! its cool, theres like 4 corners right? and some cobbles and shit. im actually looking forward to it after that shite ride i pulled out at the icycle xc race.

miatch and i went out for a little car dodging ride yesterday and he informed me on the way home that he still hadn't built his tt bike for the race today. did i mention he races pro on the road? i kinda thought he would have wanted a bit more time on his bike than the actual race, but im wrong obviously.

pretty high five seemed a little surly at work today, so being the caring nice guy that i am i found a picture to cheer him up for tommorrow....

Good Luck Pretty!!!!!!!

dano out.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

huckle-booyah gnargoyles

oh man today was awesome. i started out by waking up in a completly unusual fashion. i was awake! i mean like fully functioning lets go use chainsaws dan awake. it was was a little weird, and i stuck to my routine morning practices of filling a mason jar full of coffee and taking a dump while drinking it to not take any chances. i had to go to work and make some loot today so off i went in the clampett, narrowly beating gus's time limit by 15 seconds. it was awesome and makes my record for being on time perfect since the first of the year. gus is sad and very sober.

side note- gus is my boss, also known as the warlock, who makes me buy him a quart of icehouse on the spot when i'm more than five minutes late to work. he then drinks it immediatly and hollers at thick girls from his cave. gus and i get along quite well as you can probably imagine.

later on in the day pretty high five the tricycle tech rolls in, making the day even better because that means i don't have to work with gaybe the fagbot today. fuck yes. build that trike jo! go jo go! howl like a monkey! roar like a bear! build that trike!!

wow that got weird sorry. anyhow after work and a delicious msg filled chinaman meal, i met up with the mitch on his cross bike for a little cross town adventure. He informs me as we start out on our ride out past I-75 that he has a slow leak in his tire but that "i pumped it up really hard so it should be ok for a bit." ummm whatever, im leaving you for dead if you get a flat. we get all the way out to powerlines, this sweet and completly illegal trail system out past santa fe and are having a damn good time when mitch gets a flat. no worries he's got a tube. bounds ( who we randomly ran into in some random woods across town from where we live. strange.) and i just roll on to the next intersection and wait for mitch there. a few minutes later mitch comes flying out of the woods, flat fixed. until we're sitting there and we hear the hiss. mitches ride just turned into the best cross training of his life. run mitch run!! we get him out to a main road, wait till he calls kelly, and i dip out to start my trek back across town. i get rained on the whole way and arrive back at my house around 630 soaking wet. shitty but kinda fun anyhow. another good ride, this is becoming some sort of weird habit. i gotta get a beer. later, dan

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

another day, another ride

I went out last night for my roommates show and drank way too much. Stumbling home at 3 in the morning is not the way to win races, or make it to a 10 am class for that matter. whoops! woke up quick, at about noon, thought that i had to be in compton soon...
yeah i missed my classes, but no wories i'm doing good in school cause its easy. i cleaned up a bit and lazed around the house for a bit "rehydrating", until i had to take advantage of the day no matter what my head felt like. i threw the new kona in the clampett and headed for felasco. got in a good 3 hr solo ride at speed and came home to gorge myself on pasta and potatos. shit yeah! thats all for today, i'm getting some good sleep tonight and rolling towards powerlines tommorrow to put the hill hurt in my legs.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

its been a while...

yep, its def been awhile since i've had time to post up anything, but i've been busy and traveling. sue me, it happens. I've been going on some good rides lately and was feeling good the week before the icycle. of course being that im the shining beacon of health, i get sick on the tuesday before the race. i shut down all the hard or long riding and tryed to health it up by purging myself with sierra nevada. just kidding, but not really. welcome to my life! anyhow, thursday rolls around and a wake up feeling awesome. shit yeah time to go!! see, i've got a two fold reason to head to asheville- the riding is always amazing, but the girl is even better. i've totally gone soft. shes amazing though and im totally fallen for her. i can't believe i wrote that! anyways, yall don't care about that sappy shit you wanna hear about the race. we rode out at warren wilson campus on friday for good preride/hangover cleansor with the legend mikey viertel. its was a damn good time, warrens got some fun trails and kylie knows them all like the back of her hand which made it more fun for the rest of us. saturday rolls around and dispite my best efforts (i.e. less beer and a good nights sleep) i feel like crap for the start of the expert/pro xc race at the icycle. of course thirty seconds in up the first climb i throw breakfast up. did i mention i thought it was a good idea to race that class on my SS? how about me being too lazy to chnge the gear ratio from 34-16? im an idiot... yep i dropped the fuck out of that race and concentrated my efforts on the night dh race. i went ahead and entered pro/expert cause i'd never raced a dh event before and wanted to set the bar low in typical dan the retard fashion. i did have a secrect weapon though that was gonna blow the doors off a few dudes hopes at glory. Stevel's New dh specific led light. He got the first prototype done thursday morning and got it to me while it was still warm of the lathe for the trip. this thing is absurd yall. six times as bright as an hid and its only running at half its capicity right now. dudes dropped out at the start when i turned that thing on. we ( pretty high five, daisy dan, and ian) tested its limits this weekend with such rigorious tests as can it shine through a mans testicles (the answer is yes, very well), can it light up the road to fontana better than the headlights on jo's pathfinder (yep, totally as long as drunkass jo in the shotgun seat doesn't decide to look for deer instead of the next curve your trying to negociate), and my favorite lets make daylight in the car while ripping down the green river gorge late at night in the rain not quite functioning.

wow, got totally off subject! so, i was pretty ready for the night dh race by the time they called my number for the gate. long story short, got 7th out of 25 with a crash halfway down the course. missed the podium by 8 seconds, but dudes try to ride bulls that long and you know how that goes... pretty good i thought for my first dh race. headed back to the fla on sunday, that sucked had to say bye to the girl for a month and head out of the mtns. i coped with it by getting hammered in the back of the penisfinder and passing out by 2, only to wake up at maurices bbq. tight. well, back to te grind holla at yall later!

good quote-"fuck you pay me cash any fuckin way! the boss is back cashius muthafuckin clay! and the duval boys, we got that chemistry, and we fixin to be, killin the whole industry, an we in the street, we do the distritribution, gettin paid every day just for makin music!" -duval boys