Saturday, December 27, 2008

it has been brought to my attention

that i should tell you a story. its a story of pain, preservence, triumph over the hated powertap, and hope for the future. its the story of the crash. its a story of good friends and good times.

the time was last sunday morning, the place was dupont. we met at coaches house (i love calling thad coach because he does almost nothing for me in the way of coaching, he's just a good dude to me. i don't mind, getting coached isn't much fun- ive been there. i prefer that he uses his time with people who care about that stuff.) anyways, we met a coaches house at the early hour of 10 am. i didnt like this because i didnt get to sleep much the night before. i wasnt hungover though, which was good. i have a roommate with a thirst, we'll leave it at that. so we eat waffles and bacon and everything else that is good and then we put on our tights and go prance around in the woods together. i was wearing white because im a virgin, and wes d was wearing black because he is not. at least i would assume not because of his kid, but you never know.... anyhow, we're prancing, spanking each other and such all over the mtns having a grand ol time riding our pedal scooters on a cool mtn day. towards the end of the ride, after wes's "shortcut" that put us right back where we'd just came from, we end up having to ride down the paved road to the next trail. im cool with this because im a roadie and id just put a fresh coat of oil on my shaven legs in an attempt to be cool like the horse tamer. did i mention the white suit. yes i was beautiful, like a mexican jesus or maybe a golden buddha. anywo, we're bombing down this road, shralping the gnar fully aero tucked-like, when chris bennett decides its time for him to feed off me. he heads on over to my airspace and gently places his hand firmly on my buttocks in a sort of nongay manpat. then his handlebar gets caught in my jersey at 35 mph and he goes down like a hooker in a dirty public restroom. boom! i got catapulted over the bars shortly (like a quarter second) afterwards. i hit the ground and exploded all over the road, i swear i was on fire or at least smelled like it. fortunately because i was dressed so splendidly, almost shimmering in my virginal glory, i was unharmed as was my bike. chris however had a few issues, like a fox fork that was now missing its brace and a blowed up elbow. bummer. we called the meatwagon to get chris home and then limped it on back to the house, but not before pointing and laughing at a small child crashing. this is because we are assholes- no way around that.

and the lord spoketh it, and it was pronounced the truth.


dano out.

p.s.- this pic has nothing to do with this story, hell its not even north carolina. but it is me. ah skeet!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

when its time to party.....

we party hard.

-andrew w.k.

in about an hour, this kids heading to florida. so so stoked. im packing my bike, liver, and swim trunks. ill be meeting up with pretty jo and bitchin mitch at hanna park tommorrow afternoon for a little sand rumble at the trails that started this whole thing for me. afterwards we'll be heading to the cougar den for beers and god knows where the night will lead us. i can't wait!

pretty was telling me a awesome story this morning by the way that involved him , le bitch, some shovels and cones and someones driveway. ask him about it when yo see him, it'll change your life.

can't lie, i miss these dudes a lot. its fun as hell when we get together though.

see yall in the panhandle of paradise!!!!

dano out.

this is now the only white suit in existance. mine hit the pavement at 35 mph this weekend. wear it with pride mitch!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

why you comin home,

five in the morn, somethings going on, LEMME SMELL YO DICK..

i like monster truckin, been riding my big bike, its fun. it kinda warmed up here lately, which ive been taking advantage of by actually riding my bike. its cool.

i was checking some ones blog today and i came across a statement calling a mtn bike a training tool. in honor of this tool move, I'm gonna start calling all my bikes training tools. hell, that case of beer i got last night was a training beverage, which makes the SAV MOR a bonafied training center. i live across the street from a training center, which i can ride my training tool too, and get some training beverages so i can train in the mtns of busch. this is good. i will be well trained come spring. here's one more train before we bury this stupid subject....

that's how i feel about that. every one of those koalas have a powertap by the way. i swear.

in other news, I'm gonna have another roommate n the farmhouse soon. he's from Florida, he likes to ride his bike till it falls apart (which happens a lot honestly), and he's got a shiny new diploma.

here's a pic. i think we'll get along.

don't do any thing shady or ill have to smell your dicks,

dano out.

p.s.- Ive been feeding off Chris Bennett. its delicious.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Someones spyin'...

Intercepted this morning: Pirate Doug taking spy photos of the Brevard cycling team at weightlifting practice. Here's one he got of Matt wells.

fortunately he was apprehended before he could make it back to banner elk in the SHRTHRD mobile.

dano out.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

ever since i was a seed the only thing promised to me was a penitentry.


Tupac ain't dead, y'all. he's hiding out with Elvis up in Canada. whistler to be exact, heard that dude can throw a mean tabletop.

A conversation i had with my momma the other day got me thinking a bit. usually talks with my mom go along the lines of "i need money" followed by "tough shit". we were talking about school though, and she was telling me to buckle down and handle my shit, cause i got nothing to fall back on. i didn't really think about it too much at the time, but a little later i was out riding and it popped back up in my head, this whole college thing. i was thinking about this time last year i was flunking out of school for the 4th time and barely getting by down in gville. i was floundering and going nowhere, except to the bar. fast forward and I'm here, life is good. stressful at times, but good. i guess what I'm saying is I'm here and this is an opportunity that i didn't really deserve but I'm gonna run with it as far and hard as i can, cause like my mom said i got nothing where i came from. my plan is to make this my motivating factor for the next year, school and racing wise. we'll see where it goes.

don't worry though, I'll still get drunk and throw cans in the fan.

somethings never change.

dano out.

Friday, November 28, 2008

You're Fat.

man, thanksgiving is the shit!! i just got fatter and fatter yesterday. i bet i couldn't even make 1 lap at eddies pumptrack now without have a cholesterol induced heart attack taking me from this world. its just that awesome.

oh man, my brother the mini bear just got this fancy gaps unit. i don't really like GPS units cause they remind me of my number one most hated object on earth.

anyways,this GPS was firing off heading to my aunts yesterday with the fam, and it was all cool until we needed to go to her house. then it gave us 4 right turns in a row and put us right back on the highway. The old man just about threw it out the window, which was awesome. joey would have been sooo bummed and i would have laughed even more. he was pissed.

whatever, family time is good. i don't see enough of my folks since i moved to the great white north.

check it out - I'm gonna start doing triathlons. cool huh?

I'm still working on my wind tunnels tests but i should be ready for domination by the spring thawing.

I heard a nasty little rumor that our buddy St. Marie might be out for 6 months with a busted knee. That truly sucks dude. get well soon.

by the way, you think i could borrow your new road bike? you know being that your not really using it an all...

same team dude.

dano out.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

im fat.

so so fat, i weighed myself today and I'm a 155 pounds of pure white blubber. mmmmm delicious. i love not racing or riding really. i can feel my gut right now sitting here, the huge taco bell burrito trying (unsuccessfully) to be digested in my stomach, only to go straight to my huge child bearing hips. hey at least my pants might stay up now. i feel like I'm a dancer in a Lil Jon video most of the time. YEEEEEAAAHHH!!! getting fat is the best thing ever, though. it gives me an excuse to drive my truck to school, cause I'm too fat to walk; drive my truck to the grocery store that's 100 yards away, cause I'm too fat to walk; drive my truck to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, cause I'm too fat to walk. you get the picture. hopefully ill be able to keep up with mike v. in an eating contest soon. YEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

OK, so besides the fact that I'm a humongous lardass (the crowning achievement of my life to date, by the way) my buddy Joe came up this weekend with two roadies who shall remain nameless.

they were lame, so we gave them timeout in their room.

yep, Joe and i had a damn good time, the pretty and fancy show was in full effect all weekend from the moment Joe showed up till the second he left. There's a good chance that Joe's gonna be up here all Summer this year, I'm just about fully convinced Brevard might burn to the ground if that happened.

we'd be damn useless at the least, that's for sure.

oh i got my ass kicked by a girl too!

yes, i even tried my secret move. you know the one, you have to press double down left left right on the controller to activate it. unfortunately i was side stepped from my my divebomb couch berm shot. damn.

better luck next time, punk.

this ones for the girls,

Dano out.

"my body stay vicious, i be up in the gym just workin on my fitness"

Monday, November 17, 2008

buy the ticket, take the ride.

Its been a bit chilly lately. I took a few days off the bottle, not that im drinking a lot, but its always good to take a break. of course this clean living got me sick as hell, or maybe it was that 1 am swim in the french broad sat night that did it. who knows and whatever. can't be changed now. I've got my winter training plan pretty much worked out at this point-very scientific i know! let me through it out there for ya so we can go ride sometime.

mon.- this day is bad, i always feel terrible and stressed about the weeks shit that i gotta get done. no bicycle magic today, its all about homework and real work. bummer.

tues.- Hopefully i've been good and done some work so today i can go ride bikes. usually a good mtb ride in the pisgah and maybe some cross racing at brevard to wrap up the day. Or i just watch movies and eat bbq. you never know.

weds.- all about the pumptrack at eddies. its got lights and is pretty damn fun. good times.

thurs.- lets take it to the slalom track and then over to sycamore for their night ride. awesome.

fri.- out at 1130 and hopefully on my bike for a long ride. afterwards its probably party time.

sat- i party. and ride. scientifically.

sun- more of the same.

jesus is my homeboy,

dano out.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Roast em for jesus!

oh man. i wish i could do that.

I just registered(possibly) for something really dumb. i'm keeping my lips sealed till its offical but trust me its gonna suck. looking forward to it. i'll keep you posteed.

i thought the florida boys were coming up this weekend but evidently global warming has dried florida out to the point that the they all live in a constant state of sandyvag. sorry about your condition pretty. get well soon.

im gonna go do some homework now so i don't get kicked out of paradise in less than a semester.

Dano out.

Friday, October 31, 2008

I don't wanna think about it, i don't really care,

i don't wanna think about the who what when or where.

-Agent Orange

Ah yes the end of race season. I can't lie, I'm looking forward to a bit slower pace around these parts. Its gonna be good to ride around in the woods and drink a few more beers. The good life if you will.

lets see, we had a little race last weekend call Collegiate Natls, I'll spare you the details cause everyone else already beat that horse to a pulp. We got 4th as a team, i got 4th in the individual omnium and 3rd in Slalom, and we all froze our asses off and are glad to be home. thanks to everybody for their support this year.

more importantly, i built a new fire pit at my house this week. its huge and i could burn a car in it, which i just might do if it gets any colder. My roomie sass-mouth and I are trying to be all green and shit and therefore set our thermometer at 45 degrees for the heat to come on in the house. Its been on for the past three nights, which means death is imminent from hypothermia in my house if i don't wear my fur coat, short skirt, and ugg boots 24/7.

which i do.

because I'm from Florida.

here's a little shot of the slalom last weekend.

that's me vs moto mike from app state, dudes got skills.

it's a good thing i hit him with a toxic death fart 2 seconds after this pic and was able to out sprint him on account of him not being able to breath.


Word on the streets is pretty muthafuckin jo is heading the way with a group of rowdypants fun timers from the swamp city next weekend. I'll believe it when i see them in my House, but I'll be hoping none the less. if they do make it, anybody participating in the swank will be lucky to make it past our rest stop without being physically or emotionally scarred. I'll leave it at that.

oh hey its Halloween, the best day of the year. unless your a weirdo religious person, but then you pretty much suck so whatever. anywho, everybody needs to put on something ridiculous and go make bad decisions fueled by alcohol. its the cool thing to do.

This pretty much sums it up. Ian Knabe, heading straight for the mouth (or ass) of the beast.

In the spirit of the greatest holiday of the year i leave you with this band.

The Misfits.

Dano out.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Brevard College is going to Natls as a team!!!

"all those Brevard Natural Disaster kids (a talented little cyclone they got a-twisting out for them this collegiate season)" -Kylie Krauss

thanks Kylie, we're trying down here.

One more weekend, its a big one. who can keep it together is the question of the day....

listen to slayer,

dano out.

Monday, October 13, 2008


strike first. - Casey Jones

casey jones, not only a famous folklore about a railroad engineer but one of the best hardcore bands ever out of the 904. sometimes you just need a little hate in your head and a little tobasco and whiskey in your belly.

conference champs were this past weekend in clempson kids. this was a last ditch effort for a lot of people to go to natls, and the last chance for me to get a win before national champs. in case you didnt know, ive been doing a whole lot of nothing this season exept kicking myself in the dick. im glad to finally shake off a bit of the sucks and actually ride decent. yay me.

What you can't see in this pic is the alcohol fumes coming out of my pores. delicious!

2 wins. slalom and dh. mom would be so proud.

oh i also sold my singlespeed, so thats like three wins.

and thad walker owes me taco bell. i just want that to be public knowledge.

dano out.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


I got a powertap. check it out.


do you hear that?

thats the sound of hopes, wishes, and dreams being crushed under the wheels of the BC cycling freight train of pain that rolled through conyers last weekend. i figure since everyone else on this team is genuinely nice and respectful i'll volunteer for the position of team shit talker. someones gotta do it, might as well step up.

seriously though- last weekend all i gotta say is damn. i thought spirits might have been a little low after the grass field and gravel road racing we had down in dahlonigghaa, but i was wrong. good job team 7 out of 8 wins aint too shabby.

of course i still don't have a W in my pocket yet, but i'll keep plugging away.

A few thoughts about the races this past weekend...

  1. the slalom course was a little retarded this weekend, i understand putting things together on a shoestring bucket, but don't mark your course by using green spraypaint on grass and penalize us for not seeing it.

  2. wilson dude on the black specialized hardtail, take a fucking shower. you are disgusting. i'll even buy you some dr. bronners hippiefuck soap if you like. i understand not being able to wash your jersey sat night before the xc, but you made a dirty portajohn smell like b.o. I didnt even know that was possible.

  3. the xc courses in conyers kick ass!!

i've been cruising a few blogs lately and i've noticed the trend seems to be to put a radibonzical racing pic of yourself up with a phrase that uses words like MONSTER, PINNER, BRAPPP!, RIPPER, SHREDDERGNARCOREBROSEPH, ETC. It got me thinking that maybe it was time to change out the ol' header pic, but then i sat down and had a little soul search with myself. those words don't really fit me, i actually prefer living the good life, and so the header stays. sorry guys. one day i'll be cool, i swear.

Dano (quite literally in this pic) out.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

just one beer and we'll go..

everytime i jump something in the woods these days snot flys out of my nose and into my eyes. i love fall.

oh i forgot to show you my new cross bike.....

beautiful. notice the A-row position. damn thats fast. i need to stop smiling though, exposed teeth create wind drag. ask victor alber-he knows.

dude i just pulled my old cds out again and grabbed a masterpiece.

metallica- kill em all.

WHIPLASH is the current preride favorite.

dano out.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

this is what it sounds like (when doves cry)

yes. that feels better. after a good self imposed kick in the dick at dahlonigha (i spell good) i was a bit bummed. but now being home in good ol brevard, riding around in the mtns earlybird style while its still misty and cold, i figured it out a bit. the xc race on sunday was hard, real hard. it was also about 99.7% fire roads and thats not really what i like to ride. but its all good, i did what i could. i got hot climbing through a field of death so i took my jersey off and just raced in bibs. i got hungry and art shuster (wilson coach and all around awesome dude) gave me snickers bars. delicious. and the course had a sweet ass singletrack descent that i got loose as a goose on every time down. my bike never broke and i never crashed all weekend so why was i complaining? i dunno, i just seems like the thing for racers to do. so sorry, ill not be doing that anymore cause im not really a racer. whoops, the secrets out now...

mikey v. tells me i need to ride less and recover more, tristan says i just ate too much cereal (ihave no idea what that means), and sbc just says take better drugs. i like all these ideas. but damn i love some cereal, so that one might be hard. cheerios and beer is the best recovery food ever, and beer is a drug so there youu go, prob solved.


check this out. adam craig is the man.

listen to slayer,

dano out.

Saturday, September 27, 2008


not really. at least not on my bike. i don't really know whats going on, every weekend im getting worse and worse results. i haven't really ridden any less or dranken any more (or less!). schools been a bit of a stress, but im just a bit stumped on this one.

eh, i still got pisgah in my backyard.

Monday, September 8, 2008


race race race sleep race. yep sounds about like my weekend. tight. this weekend was the first race I've done since getting hooked up with the whole Brevard college thing, really the first race I've done since march. wow, i forgot how much fun racing can be. one thing i gotta get out there is a huge thank you go's out to thad walker for getting the ball rolling on me doing this college thing and really helping me out a bunch. the support compared to my usual race weekend was unbelievable. i mean hotels? good food? no drinky? shit, now I'm big time. that was amazing actually, i didn't have to worry about shit but getting on my bike and kicking a little ass. thanks guys.

i wasn't so stoked on the race order when i saw the flyer. with short track being at 9, dh at 12, and slalom at 4, i had my work cut out for me on sat. a lot of people these days specialize in one discipline, which is cool, but i got the attention span of a goldfish and like to switch it up . anyhoo we started out with A short track where you sprinted around a wet grass field for 25 minutes or until a lees mcdork guy passes you. the whole time i just thought about how much more fun this would be if the course had a little more than just 5 ft of single track. it did have a fun flat grass corner at the bottom of the dh section that you could flattrack the hell out of, so i got a little enjoyment out of it. other than that, i just talked shit to people around me and pedaled till i didn't have to anymore. i really think that event is plain shit, and will prob never break the top ten in it cause i just don't care and it doesn't take any skill other than gorilla power. lame as hell on all fronts.

second on my plate for the day was the DH. I'd been talking with some folks the night before about it, and the general thought was that i had a pretty good chance to get on the box, so i really wanted this one. i had some pretty sweet crashes in the practice, but was able to keep it together for the race runs. first run i played safe and consistent, but when i got to the bottom, i noticed my fork had just had a wet dream all over itself. bummer. i knew my time was well off the lead and that id have to pick it up on what was now pretty much a pogo stick strapped to my bike. i gave it pretty much all i had for the second run with the fork clanging through every rock garden and log pile and was able to pull off second place, off by a little bit. i flatted the front DH tire with a six inch fork at the end, but it was slow and didn't effect me, so that was good. i dunno if i could have made up the time with no mechanical issues, but that's racing i guess.

by the time slalom came around i was so damn tired i didn't really give a shit what happened. i just want ed to ride the dirt jumps with alex uh-ohman and get some grub in my belly. i got beat out of the gate and crashed trying to play catchup on a slick and rough course in the semis, and that was all she wrote for the slalom. I'm just glad i didn't crash on the super sketch final jump at the bottom of the course that people were getting annihilated on. that thing was scary.

Sunday rolls around, and my old ass can hardly roll out of bed. I'm beat up, cut up, sore as hell and pretty damn tired to boot. fortunately that seems to be the recipe for Dan Ennis to have a good race. the xc course was a fun as hell super twisty trail with shortish power climbs that sucked if you sat down, but weren't too bad if you just stood up and monkeyed up it. basically i loved that course, i wish it was closer so i could ride it more. the race started with a ridiculous sprint uphill to the single track, and i just sat in, figuring the rested up xc guys would be blowing me away all day. first singletrack section in and I'm feeling pretty darn good, so i start picking off riders and working my way up through the Field. before i know it I'm rolling up on Matt Wells wheel and I'm thinking damn I'm feeling pretty good. two minutes later and I'm up with St. Marie, the semi pro. i figure what the hell and lay down a little horsepower to keep catching carrots, figuring those two would be coming past me like a freight train in the later laps. i end up battling with two Wilson Stinky's and a Cumberland guy for a few laps, until the day before started to catch up with me on the last lap and i couldn't stay with them on the last lap. oh well, 9th for the day, and i stayed ahead of the Matt's. i don't think they'll be letting me do that again, just a hunch. ill take it though being that i don't do anything to train for xc racing and its not even really my focus. that was a nice end to the weekend though, and that course was awesome. much props to ETSU for a sweet weekend of racing.

my fingers hurt.

dano out.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

and now for something completely different..

i'm busy moving things and taking care of buisness this week so lists have been a big part of my life right now. lets keep with the spirit of organization, shall we?

  1. As of today i am offically unemployed. Am i looking for a job? kinda, but not really. im looking forward to riding a bit and getting ready for this college racing buisness. if anyone has some side work though i'm your man.
  2. my brother joey, aka the minibear, and pretty jo are supposedly heading my way labor day weekend with a whole crew of people. I like it, i need some old friends around for a bit. the all new life thing is a little stressful.
  3. my new roommate sarah is obsessed with mustaches in all forms, shapes, and sizes. this is awesome.
  4. im unemployed but not homeless. we just got a sweet old house on the edge of town. im convinced its haunted by an old lady, therefore i've paid rent since the tenth and haven't slept a single night in it. im a sissypants.
  5. i threw a rock at a rat today by the kitchen and stunned it. then dale came over and killed it with a 2x4, ala "Hacksaw Jim Dugan". it splattered and was grossly amazing. then we went and ate bbq for lunch.
  6. i no longer have a Singlespeed. im not worried though, it wasn't much fun up here. im gonna see if i can find a 26 wheeled frame and a 5 inch fork so i can actually enjoy more than just the fire roads in pisgah.
  7. Everybody is welcome to come stay at my house anytime. seriously, we'll leave you a key. just come.
  8. i've been hearing lots of talk of "training" and "powertaps" when im around riders up here. im gonna have to show them the very specific, guaranteed to work, explosive training plans that pretty, big mitch, and i have been developing over the past few years. you gotta climb the mtns of busch kids. more later.

thats all for now, i'm on the hunt for an old tire to build a swing in my yard. maybe a trampoline if i can find one. keep it sleazy.

dano out.

Sunday, August 3, 2008


new pump track around these parts. like whoa.

anyhow, this summer gigs almost over, schools around the corner, and im looking for a residence and job. i gotta get some treasure for the winter built up. my friend an i might have a house though, i'll know in a few days. otherwise shit is tight. i guess ORAMM was last weekend. didnt make it. i decided that it would be a little expensiv, and besides i had plans in asheville involving a sweet old house and some R & R with good friends. i idid want a good long ride though. i just dsidn't want to deal wuth the race crowds. so i got dropped off at bent creek and rode home to brevard. took about 5 hrs with a bit of it backtraking from a wrong turn. all good!! its got me thinking about my grand trip idea, a multiday trip across the appalchians and a few states but all off road if i can and self supported. its totally possible in my mind. i'll be talking to some people soon. this needs to get done.

Oh i dont think i ever mentioned this but i'm starting at Brevard College this fall. do you know whart that means? besides me being dirt poor for the next couple of years, i get to race collegiate season. i've never been allowed to do that before and im pretty damn excited. ive been just lying low getting ready and im feeling a bit restless to see what i can do. this is gonna be fun.

see yall august 29th.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Monday, June 30, 2008

the concept of time has been lost.

im pretty sure i walk around these days completely clueless as to whats happening outside of my little world. i know some things though. i wake up when the sun comes up and go get coffee. i know that i'll prob sit at my desk and look at a map of pisgah or dupont and think about where i want to ride today. i know that at some point in the day i'll ride by myself, and some point in the day i'll teach other people how to ride better. i know i'll go to sleep after dark but well before midnight. i know that this is temporary and to enjoy it for the next few months before the lifetrain hits me full on for the rest of my year.

its good.

enough touchy feely shit.

im going riding.

Friday, June 20, 2008


It has been a while since i've last written some useless words, but too much has happened since fighting off a bear that i just haven't had time. im sorry, never again. First off, mountain life is good. great actually. i've got an awesome gig going with camp that allows me to get out and ride as much as possible really. we've got a new trail almost finished on camp that rivals anything in dupont in my mind and is literally out my front door. We're packing it in with childrens tears every day. love it! finally, i'm really liking all the people i work with at the camp this year, which is rare for me. i usually just keep to myself and fly under the radar in the name of secret rides off camp. all in all a good time is going down. pretty, your missing out on a good one. high five!!

i got my slalom bike all built up this week so ive been spending some time at the local dirt jumps and slalom track. i hadn't realized just how far my skills had fallen off. i guess 2 years of mainly XC riding will do that, but im hoping for a speedy recovery. riding with the crew up here it shouldn't take too long i don't think. we'll just have to see. i def have no style over jumps and goon air (super T) a lot of the time. lame. at least i can pedal!!

i'll post up pics of the dual course soon, im bringing the camera sun.


Sunday, May 25, 2008

how to piss off a bear.

yep, it happened finally.

i almost was bear food. and it was all my fault.

story- i like to go on pisgah rides by myself. its relaxing and i don't really know anybody in brevard to ride with yet, so it is the way things are for me right now. i also like singlespeeds. single speeds are quiet, solo rides are quiet. you can get the picture, i see a lot of animals on my rides, especially bears. they don't really bother me, i used to be scared of them but now they just are big clumsy squirrels to me. or so i thought. i was climbing into the top of bennetts gap the other day and when i got to feild i see a big ol bear lumbering around eating shrubs and stuff. i thought cool and waited for it to get off the trail a little bit and headed on my merry (ignorant) way across the field. i get about halfway, watching big bear bear the whole time when on the other side of me i hear a rustling. i look over and see two cubs about 5 feet from me playing. oh shit. i turn back around an momma bear is in full on sprint headed towards me. oh shit. i quickly backed my self out of the way of her cubs and got my bike in between me and her just as she stops about 15 or so feet from me. she was freakin huge!! how do i know? cause she stood up and made all these crazy noises that in bear talk mean "fuck off, im going to eat you, bearblasting aint doing shit for you now huh bitch?" i quickly got back to the edge of the field and watched her watching me for a few minutes. it was pretty obvious she wasnt about to let me by, so i had to abandon the ride and go back to the car. i was ok with it though because i still have all my body parts in one piece.

and thats how you piss off a bear.

dano out.

Monday, May 19, 2008

its a hard knock life

good weekend. well, good sunday at least. sat was a bit of a waste, lazed around camp and then went to the movies, but i guess we all need those days once and a while. sunday i wooke up, said im getting motivated and headed out to play on the big rig. a few thrift cove loops to start things off, such a fun little loop, great if your on a time squeeze, need an easy day, or just like a really fun downhill with a kicker over the creek at the end. so so fun. afterwards i decided i was gonna sniff out the brevard college slalom course that i've been told about. i knew the general area where it was and after a little snooping (and outright asking the person at the gate) i was at it. i cant say where it is cause i don't want people pissed at me, but holy shit is that thing fun, and steep. it was the hardest dual course ive ridden in the south id have to say. i dont think many colleigate riders are gonna be able to ride that thing with any confidence, but just my opinion. lets just say i'd laugh in your face if you told me to drop in on an xc rig on that thing. it was damn fun. after that i took a break to head to a little party at a friends house, also good, and then continued on to the skatepark with my little bmx bike. they got an awesome little mini ramp with a spine that i got to have pretty much to myself. there where about 10 guys there that could tailwhip the box, but nobody could ride the spine right or do a decent table. weird, i guess being old has some benifits though. the night ended with meeting an old friend at the bar in town. good times were had by all i do believe.

dano out.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

  1. i woke up with terrible beer farts today, so i went and ate onion rings and now i've got terrible farts and terrible breath. they cancel each other out right?
  2. im not sure why the computer is putting numbers next to my sentences, but i like it.
  3. camp is too fun.
  4. joe melvin is a sissy pants. no particular reason right now, but it should be known anyways.
  5. i got hit on by a really really old lady at the bar last night. it sucked and she wouldnt leave me alone.
  6. you need to fess up. i know, just tell me the truth.
  7. im going to ride my bike in the mtns some more now.
  8. goodbye.

dano out.

p.s.- current jams in the ears- Dio. playing air guitar makes inventorying things go sooo much faster.

Monday, May 12, 2008

new places, new faces

this will be a quick one.

maybe it up to nc yesterday (barely) in the old clampett. i had to first gear some of those climbs at the end, but im sitting in mike V's house now so its ok. it kinda cold out and really windy, but im headed over to dupont to do what pretty has termed "the dh loop". mine mtn to airstrip and out. quick and dirty and two hot laps on the big sled will make you smile for days. i start the new job tomm, ill throw up a post on the trail thats being built by the same people who brought you dupont. private pro built rail, oh lawdy lawd!!

listen to slayer.

dano out.

Monday, May 5, 2008

welcome to our town

so on the way to the shop today i had two separate incidents with people in cars, furthering my belief that jax is truly the armpit of cycling, and florida in general. The ride from my folks house to champion is 2, maybe 3 miles at most and i rode up ther at 8:30 this morning. don't you people have something better to do than try to run me off the road and call me a queer? guess not..

whatever, i'll get the last laugh when you all die of cancer. wait i just heard nalgene bottles cause cancer. shit.

we can't win.

fun day today. worked a bit at the shop where i cut my teeth on this bike thing, got a free quart of natty ice for mowing the shop lawn (took 10 minutes tops, def worth it), and then went out to dinner with some family thats in town from austin, tx. good time crew, and we sucked the bar dry. gotta love your family!

tomm im gonna hit up one of the faster road rides in town on my mtb, being that i don't actually own a road bike anymore. im looking forward to it a little but what im really looking forward to is sunday afternoon and the drive to western carolina. thurs night might be a little fun though with Pretty Useless turning 21 and all. get swasted pretty! do it for jesus!

dano out.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Bury Your Bike

I'm hanging out in the land of republican stickers, urban sprawl, and angry drunks this week. thats right, jacksonville. just cause your from a place doesn't mean you have to particularly love it. thats def the case for me and dirty duval. i did have a good time today though, even with some issues. I headed downtown today for the Bury Your Bike alleycat put on by Zombie bikes, a nonprofit coop bike shop on main st.

There it is.

Anyway, i'm heading out to the start in my truck (yes, this was annoying, but jax is so sprawled you can't just ride to an alleycat. the traffic is also horrendous.) and i'm about half way there when i hear a ping and some pops come out of the clampett and then she shuts off.

Explaination- this is pretty common for the clampett to do, shut off randomly, so its not something that really stresses me out. i carry a bike in the bed nearly everywhere and i paid $200 dollars for the beast. it is what is is.

so, i pilot the old girl to the side of the road and crawl under the hood to see whats up. belt gone. nnot really all gone, a good bit is wrapped up in the various pulley wheels and whatnot of the engine. nice. it takes me a while to cut all the crap out of the engine and splice the battery cables bac together, but i get it done. i also have a new belt in the truck but i dont like to replace things until they fall off, so this worked out perfectly. new belt installed, she cranks right up and off i go. like i said, this sort of thing happens every two weeks or so, no big deal. shes old and can be fixed cheaply, unlike all the new shit rolling around.

i get to the race in time for the start and quickly realize what i forgot to do. change my gear! im still running 32-17 on the mtb, and am quickly spit out the back of the lead group, dangling in no mans land for the rest of the race. 10 place i think. it doesn't matter. the jumps alex built on the side of the building were more fun anyways. check out the wallride/hip.

im tired.
dano out.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Not this guy

So here it is sunday morning and i'm assuming all the heavy hitters are warming up for some serc racing in winder, ga right now. well, not this kid. im at home in gainesville drinking coffee and sitting in my now barren room. i like it in strange sort of way. the old man showed up early (ouch) this morning and loaded his truck up with all my precious goodwill bought furniture and headed back to jax. im back to everything i own being able to fit in my truck and thats the way i like it. why am i stripped down to nothing? i'm heading out soon, like friday gville will be the past for me. weird.

before i forget- get your moms something good for mothers day. its may 11th. they usually don't want much. i got my momma some lucero cd's and a case of sierra nevada and she was STOKED.

on to more important things. is my new frame camoflage yet? nope, i wish though. turns out its going to be extremely diffucult to do with all the different shapes. stupid manipulated tubes. and people wonder why i always go back to my old bontrager. best bike ever, pre trek even. anyhow, still working on that- stay tuned. in case anyones interested, a bunch of peeps are putting on a big bike festival with a bunch of races and events up in jax next weekend. my friend alex is putting on a dirt jump contest so i'll be up this week helping him dial in the jumps. i may even get a wild hair and enter the damn thing. nac nacs are still cool right? right? regardless everyone thats likes to ride bikes and get loose (i.e.- 90.2% of gainesvegas) should head to actionville for some fun. everyone likes alleycats through cemetaries...

heres the flyer.

looks like fun, and rumors are floating around of multiple free kegs all weekend. do it.

if your looking for a more local way to hang out with me (cause im awesome) and ride bikes, thurs night will be the last tues-thurs rollout ride for me for a while. Shamie has already dubbed it the assassins last stand ride and i figure that skinsuits should be the dress of choice. of course if you don't have a skinsuit you can just wrap yourself in saran wrap like the warlock is doing. gross.

random thought- has anyone seen the new villin mtb frame design that lex is doing? matt and the enemy just got theirs and they look tight! beefed up rearends with caps on smaller looking belevedres. also a new fork that looks like a steel version of cannondales old pepperoni forks. neat. also some amazing paintjobs that i'm guessing is joe m's work. i want them to build me a slalom frame now. maybe i'll go talk to lex tomm...

this post has gone on long enough.

oh good band- the refused. awesome punk from the early to mid 90's. yeah i know thats a black hole for music, but check these guys out. good stuff.

dano out.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

i (heart) being healthy.

its gone! feel good with the exception of tues nights bender. at least i found out that i can sleep in my truck pretty well. i hit up the tues night mtb ride and really pushed it to see where my sickness left me fitness wise. i was able to drop everyone but that cat 2 dude on the geared bike wearing a skinsuit on the fireroads, so i might not be as far off as i thought. the top gear isn't there anymore, but that doesn't seem to take long to get back. i do get totally worn out after about an hr and a half of fast paced riding. i'll have to throw in some long SS rides in the next couple weeks to work on that. im thinking i'll jump back into xc racing mid may now. thats good and im happy about that.

i've been riding my bmx quite a bit lately. a new skatepark got opened up down the street from my house so i've been having fun with that. i got out of the little bikes when i got back to florida a couple years ago, but in the last 6 months or so i've def started to pick it up again . so so fun! thats what i did before i started racing mtn bikes and i honestly enjoy it more, but im too old to huck myself all the time now.

im babbling, time to go work on the pump track.

dano out.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

i can see clearly now.

finally finally finally. that black death is gone, i think. i hope. i took it super easy this weekend slept pretty much all day today (sun) and pounded into that emergen-c harder than Mitch into a rock garden. double flat, every time. basically I'm feeling good. unfortunately i think that any sort of fitness gains from my winter training plans are all gone by this point. a month of down time will do that for ya. not very good for me, not at all. back to square 1.

i can't complain though, it ain't that bad. i got the official word a few days ago, I'll be working in Brevard, NC this summer again fixing bikes and taking kids riding for camp. this year is especially sweet because in addition to the room and board/ good pay, im only working 10ish to 4ish. plenty of time to hurt myself in pisgah and dupont. their also letting me go to as many races as i can. with this setup, i should be back up to speed rather quickly. i leave Florida, probably for a long time, in two weeks.

I'm excited to chill with my friends in NC and ride some of the worlds best (in my humble opinion) trails. its gonna be a guaranteed good time, and I'm looking forward to meeting new people and seeing if i can make the switch stick. I'm also looking forward to pushing my riding and education farther.

on a sadder note though, I'll be leaving almost all of my best friends behind here in gville, with is an amazing town full of good people. it also has one of the best riding scenes I've ever been around. as much as i bitch about, there's good reasons that i keep coming back. I'm wondering if there will be people as ridiculously fun to ride and hang out with in NC as I've got one phone call away here in FL. we'll see...

dano out.

Monday, April 14, 2008

once upon a time i didn't have the bubonic plague, but now i do and i can't figure out how to get rid of it!

seriously- any pointers?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

3 hrs of sleep i the last 35+ hrs. its like im an endurance dork or something.

Friday, April 11, 2008

not shit new.

not too much happening in the world of dan lately. work, sickness, bars, and trying (unsuccessfully) to get to a few races. between lack of cash and sickness not much real racing going on right now for fancy.

i've learned a few things though the last few weeks.

1. girls will get in your head and its hard as hell to get that shit out. the only cure i know of is lots of hard drinking, but even that seems to not work great. i think i've pretty much got this thing licked though, and i'm glad. i need to get back into my normal shitshow life.

2. bronchitis will knock you on your ass. i ignored it when i first got sick, and i've paid for it the last week or so. i can't really ride, and i sleep about 23 hrs a day. i see the end though. maybe next week i'll be able to get back on it. as long as im 100% by may 1st i can live with it.

3. womens pants are really comfortable and make my ass look great. i might have to pick up a pair soon.

4. i don't like swamp ass. its starting to warm up in fla and its time for me to head north.

so with the attainment of this knowledge i should be able to make some positive changes in my life and start to get it together. i figure wife, 2.5 kids, dog, good job, and suburban house will all be mine within the next year and a half.

ah shit who am i kidding, i thought i'd be married and out of college by 24 and look at me now!

im headed to the bar,

dano out.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Welcome to the Pretty and Fancy show.

we had ourselves a little Alley cat here in Gville last weekend.

Pretty and i figured we'd roll out to it on Sunday and pedal around a little, but little did we know what was in store. My death rattle still hasn't left me alone, despite my steady whiskey meds, so i wasn't figuring on it being much of a showing for me. Pretty was balls deep in a multi week bender and looking the part nicely. The night before the race we ended up in women's clothing at 4 am, just to set the scene for y'all. lucky the race didn't start till 330, and we needed that sleep.

1:00pm- I stumbled out of bed with a sweet case of the beer shakes and almost threw up in the shower from coughing.

i like to keep myself in optimal race fitness at all times. bonedeth.

2:30pm- roll up to the start and have a high life tall boy with pretty to get our carbs in. pretty's rolling hard on his giant carbon road bike, as are fisher and the tobinator. I decided to put a 32-12 on my SS and call it good the day before. i don't even pump up the knobbys. i am regretting this decision now as i am the only mtb signed up. i am stupid.

3:30pm- Race starts. i sprint like hell, taking every cut thru, curb hop, and stair drop i can find hoping the roadies will follow and consequently be killed. i cough a lot and don't see anybody after the first 2 minutes because of my route. this is awesome. my gear hurts a lot climbing the parking garage to the second checkpoint, so i resort to screaming like an ape while i climb. this works well and i pass an Asian sensation on his aerospoke equipped fixie.

4:00pm- i haven't really seen anyone for most of the race, but i figure its because I'm using every trail cut thru i know and going for the checkpoints with the most points only. Little do i know that Pretty is averaging about 50 mph and eating scenesters he finds along the way for energy while he hits every checkpoint in the race.

4:25pm- I finally make it back to the pits to turn in my tickets, only to be informed that i can only turn in 3 at a time, not sets of three. I'm told if i can sprint to the hippodrome and back in five minutes with one more ticket, they'll accept my other three that i already have in my pocket, but not the one for the hipp. i sprint off and and halfway there before i realize how stupid i am. i could have just ridden around the block and turned in my other three tickets. oh well, nobody ever said i was smart...

4:30pm- I fly back into the pit, almost going over the bars and give them my last three tickets, including the one from the hipp. nope, i didn't turn around. that would be like trying to pull a u turn in a funny car at full blast.

4:32pm- I finish my first beer from the keg and go looking for Pretty.

4:33pm- I find pretty as we both finish our second beers. we decide neither of us won and decide we are OK with it because there's a keg of beer and a bunch of our friends are there.

5:00ish pm- Time starts to slip away. Action makes us go outside for the awards ceremony. Pretty and Ian are out there yelling and screaming like retards and people are looking at them funny. Some girl starts talking to me about my bike. she tells me singlespeed mountain bikes are stupid and i stop listening to her. she continues to talk at me for 10 minutes until i just walk away. i hate her and think she must be Gabe's twin. i am very drunk at this point.

Sometime pm- Somebody starts calling Pretty's real name out. It turns out he won first place. people are amazed. They look at his deeply tanned thighs and Jack Johnson like face in awe. I explain to a scenester that pretty harnesses his power from his tan lines. he looks at me like I'm a retard. at this point they call my name for second place. Boom! people seem sad when they hear that i rode a mtn bike, but i don't care.

So anyways, i ended up with a t shirt and some socks and pretty won a Villin track frame. fuck yeah! we drank ourselves stupid on free beer and walked away with the top two spots. not bad for couple of retards!

dano out.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I got the right fork for the Villin today. I rode the bike at Hanna park sunday and thought it was pretty cool, but a little slow handling. i liked how it could roll over shit like that gravedigger monster truck but i wasn't very happy with the sluggish handling that I'm sure the old guys and crap bike handlers that i see on 29ers normally love. i like my bikes to feel twitchy though. i run non suspension corrected forks on my SS normally and its perfect for Florida trails where cornering skill is king. well, the new fork sits 2 inches lower and gave the bike a 72 degree head angle. That bike came alive! i can't wait for the maxxis rubber and 28 inch bars friday. the bike already corners better than any xc bike I've ridden and its got some shite bonti tires on it right now. this is gonna be fun.

Tonight is the hounddogs 46Th b-day so he gets to pick the route for the ride. he's keeping it under wraps, but sources speculate we'll be heading out to the well fields tonight. sandy fire roads, joy. at least there will be plenty of sierra to drown my sorrows in afterward. maybe we'll hit benland on the way back. that is bar none my favorite town trail. Lowe's is fun too but nothing beats the pure speed and tech on benland. reminds me of razorback.

i miss that place.

dano out.

late edit: I threw up after the final sprint to the bar tonight. it sucked, and i had to go home with out any beer. pissed.

Monday, March 24, 2008

i just got a new bike. again.

Yep, I go through em! I just picked up a Kona hei-hei supreme frame from my roommate in a bit of a convoluted trade triangle deal. he took my old TCR roadie bike, traded it for a pickup truck from a lesbian, and gave me a sweet barely ridden Kona frame! I'm gonna start calling around and get some safety orange kona replica decals made cause this thing is getting the realtree camo. I figure with all the talk of cheating during last years state series I'll be able to take the fast lane unseen when I'm camoed out... not really. I just want to see more bears. I'll post up picks later I've got beers and bad decisions calling my name.

Dano out

Sunday, March 23, 2008

just friends.


i think im just gonna crawl back into my armor for a while. that one kind of hurt.

dano out

Friday, March 21, 2008

I think i might have the bubonic plague..

Yep, I'm almost positive of it. I've been stuck in the house since Tuesday with my new bike just coughing and blowing my nose and feeling generally shitty. death is near. I woke up this morning not feeling any better but I just couldn't sit around staring at the wall all day so I suited up and went for a slow, hacking up my lungs, solo roll through some local trails. Even in my weakened Pretty Jo like state, I was able to get a bit of feel for the new bike and it is awesome! A huge thank you goes out to Lex from Villin for getting me on one of his creations, and also to his apprentice Joe for doing the grunt work to make this thing a rolling piece of art. You've got to see this bike in person, pics just don't do it justice. While I was down at the Villin headquarters, Joe showed me a few new paint jobs he's working on that were absolutely beautiful. Those guys are getting way too good, now if I could only get the right fork for my bike... it will come. I just want to get better so I can take this bike out and really put it through the ringer.

Here's a few more pics.

Dano out.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

welcome back to this runaway train i call my life. sorry its been a while since i've posted but i've got good reasons. spring break, bicycles, mountains, girls, beer, racing, beer, and beer. i've been gone since the previous friday, it seems like monthes ago but i think its only really been about 10 days. so much has happened though, oh so much. First off, i spent a week at 17 nebraska. What is 17 nebraska? its a house of people with similar mindsets as me and my people located in the heart of asheville, NC. good things happen there, like mike viertel trying to eat 10 totinos pizzas in an hour. Failure. 7 pizzas though, impressive still. im full on half of one. the weeks started on a friday, with pretty highfive and i making the drive up in the rain, ready to go. we get there just in time to start drinking and meet marshall, the owner of endless cycles cogs and shit. he is very opinionated, and jo an I make it a point to avoid him as much as possible. SAturady we wake up to a frosty artic wasteland outside, and i convince the pretty bastard to get out of his bag and come ride. the whining commences nearly immediately as the starting temp was 29 degrees and we were at the end of the day. an hour and half of frozen feet and bent creek goodness later and we're back at the truck frozen solid. i lost about three toes but im pretty sure kylie rode without socks or gloves and tina lost a buttcheek to frostbite. goodtimes! Sunday rolls around to much warmer temps and a trip to pisgah to meet up with another florida transplant, austin. He shows up for the ride up clawhammer to black mtn on a slalom rig with blue jeans so i follow suit on the big sled with my sweet new/old protec open face helmet. kylie and Jo dominate us on the climb up, playing baseball while waiting, so austin and i return the favor on the way back down. Every time i come up and ride with austin he gets better an better and this was no different. we hauled ass through thrift cove, no brakes style. sunday evening i think we went to a party at warren wilson, but my memory is fuzzy. At some point Ian And fisher show up, and more pisgah fun happens including a trudge op to farlow gap trail. scary awesomeness. friday every one gets going heading down to the flawda for the TDG and Hailes SERC race. Saturday fisher, kylie and I head out to do the TDG, blasting through continuous mud holes and sweet bits of trail. we decide to save our legs after the 34 mile morning loop and head out to hailes for a little preride. trail seems fun, but i'm tired and crash out by 100 that night. Sunday morning come to the feeling of tiredness and dead legs. great. I jump in the race anyway but after the first lap its all over for me and my nonrecovering , tired old man body. 9th place at roughly halk speed for me. 5th for kylie and some where toward the bottom for mikey. Pretty high five lost it at the start, heres why.

The Warlock would not be pleased with that start there pretty. step it up son!!

so everybody is gone, its tuesday morning and im bored already. i think the fun is over and i'n starting to get the flu. sweet. i (heart) the flu. then i get a phone call. from who? lex at villin cycleworks. What? my frame is ready? oh shit....


Yep its got a scrounged together ghetto build, and yes the stem looks like a limp penis, but its mine, im looking at it right now. and its beautiful.

ORAMM will be mine this year.

when it gets the right fork on it, the bar, seat and cranks will be exactly the same as my Kona, just with monster truck tires stuffed in the wheelwells. im excited.

dano out.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Introducing the two newest members of rat shit..... Pretty High Five and Ian Knabe. Not that its much of a surprise being that these two fuckers are two of my best beer drinkin buddies here in the swamp country. The mitch is still up in the air, he's hammered right now, but i'm not sure if he's ready. Rat shit ain't afraid to drunk dial you at 4 a.m. the night before the race and attack the shit out of you the next morning. thats all for now, expect more when i'm sober.

rat shit is coming for sure,

Introducing the first member of Rat Shit...

Big Daddy aka The Heavy Hitter

Probably some of the most entertaining shit talking I've seen in a while.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

UPDATE: Bitchin Mitch's lady Kelli has dropped out of the trip, taking the Mitch down with the ship. No word on Fisher yet, but he is presumed to be K.I.A.

Rest in Peace Fisher.

Monday, March 3, 2008

4 days. Thats what i want to get through then I get to go ride my bike and drink good beer and live like a rockstar for a week and a half. Spring break is looming, but we've all got midterms to get through before we're set free to forget everything we've learned over the past six weeks. The crew for this trip sounds like a good one. Bitchin Mitch and his lady Kelli, Fisher, Pretty High Five, and myself. A good size, early trip forcasts were sounding like a crew in the double digits and i was bummed about it. That sounds fun at first, but i've been on those size excursions and the fun wears off quickly. Five is a good size number. High Five and I will be piloting the penisfinder north thurs night, and the rest of the crew will roll out early sunday morning.

this past weekend started off pretty fun with a bonfire on friday night. we were in a shady part of town so i volunteered to be the lookout for tranny hookers.

saturday the kickstand put on an alleycat race through Gville. I had to work so i thought i would miss it, but i rolled over at 5 when i got off and caught it just as it was starting so i jumped in wearing jeans and skateshoes on my road bike. the first half of the race i just worked my way up the pack, following people for a bit then sprinting up to the next group. i saw my friend scumbag from up in duval after the second checkpoint so i towed him along for a while until we hi the 8th ave hill, where he cryed like a small child and was dropped. at that point im somewhere at the front of the race but hve no idea where the next checkpoint is as i don't have a map whan all of a sudden Action Dan comes screaming past me on his fixie. I jumped on and we hammered it out together for the second half of the race. at some points we were well over 30 mph, and Action is brakeless skip stopping and skidding through the city. it was intense and i was well impressed. I ended up in second place by taking a "shortcut" on the way back and finding it blocked by construction. dang. I can honestly say that was the most interesting race i've done in quite a while, and i will enter as many of those as i can in the future.
Sunday i rolled down to santos to ride with Little Buddy, regan woodall. We ended up with 3 or so hours at a decent clip, even with both of us feeling a little worn out from the weeks earlier rides. i even got to meet a bit of Pretty's sport class competition this year and he better step up his game a bit is all i can say. dudes had some skills.
thats all for now,
dano out

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

it came from the swamps

man its been raining a lot down here in the swamplands. every mtb ride has had continuous sections of blasting through primordial ooze and commuting has resulted in a lot of wet stinky t shirts. not that i mind being stinky that much, but it hasn't been all warm either just so so. the riding reminds me of jacksonville. yall remember that shitshow right?

Here's a little chris j. shot to remind you...

I've been joking with peeps a lot recently about sponsors and bike racing and what a pain in the ass it is. Bitchin mitch and i were out roadie ridin a few weeks back and he was telling me about what a clusterfuck his race team has been this year and how over it he was. It seems like most of the people that are into that sort of thing i talk to have had the same experience. I race mtb so i don't really worry about sponsorship (there isn't any really) but there are some teams out there that seem to get some help. i think its cool, but all the teams i see are pretty straight laced operations. red, white, and blue kits, thanking the lord in podium speeches, voting for Dubbya, that sort of thing. If thats what your into ok then have at it. but im not and neither are a lot of people i hang out and ride with. In fact, i'd say a majority of serious riders in know aren't into that shit. So this is the thinking i've been having over the past few weeks. Start my own team, one that isn't all about pleasing the squares of the world. its too lopsided out there right now and it needs to be fixed. we need more misfits instead of nickleback. more PBR recovery instead of Electrolyte replenishers. more singlespeeds and a hell of a lot less powertaps. I'm gonna work on this, stay tuned.

rat shit racing is coming.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

its over.

i jumped straight off that wagon last night and its awesome.

yep dans back. i just probably won't be out every night for a while, but the sickness is totally gone, i feel great, so i figure i can end this total sobriety thing for a while. thank god, i was bored. Pretty high five, meotch, and myself had a fun damn ride yesterday rolling thorough our lovely swamp/city of gville. we checked out some new trail stunts somebody's putting up (mitch has pics up on his site i think) and rolled through the old dirt jumps. nothing in particular stood out to me on the ride, it was just fun. im heading out today to show a bunch of dudes that work for specialized around the city trails. i don't really know why their in florida but they are and they want to check it out, so check it out we will. it should be fun, and we'll hit up campus around 2 so i can show them the real reason we are all here in florida. hottest girls in the 50 states for sure. boom!

speaking of booms, kickball tonight with ian. do you know ian? here he is...
pic stolen from mikey v. swiped!
not sure what this weekend will bring, but it'll be in gvile so thats never good for the health. sunday night Lucero is playing and im stoked for that.
song of the day- 5 shots of whiskey, Hank III. there's no better country singer to drink to than Hank 1, 2, or 3.
dano out.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The weekend is over. Im still sober. Take it and love it.

12 Hrs of Santos rolled out this weekend with a uber fun course set up around the vortex pit and dirt jumps. I had to work on saturday so i wasn't planning on racing, but fri night i ended up joining up with a team whose 4th person had to bail last minute. i rolled down straight after work and showed up around 6 pm ready to go. thats when i found out we where in last place and had been lapped by quite a few teams. sweet!! talia pretty much hands me the team band and says have fun, so i rolled out to see just how long i could go at 100% effort before i imploded. first lap, no issues, 40 mins with a bunch of skids not knowing where the course went. souds good i figured i could knock at least a minute off in the second lap with a little course knowledge, maybe even catch chris jusasomthin who was limping around the course in the solo class up ahead. of course 10 mins in my sweet hid niterider light goes out (gotta love not working $600 lights) so i find a point to cut off the course and sprint back to the pits and dig around for a battery. I find kelli's and sprint back to where i got off and start roasting trying to make up lost time. im rolling through the course about to hit the second red trail section when i hear big mitch hollering at me saying that regan woodall was just ahead and to try and cath him. hell yeah! i hit that NOS tank and roll up on regan in the first bit of the red. we juke out for a bit laughing cause we weren't even in the same class before i had to roll on being that i was trying to make up lost time an his team was winning the open money by 30 minutes or something absurd. 52 minutes for the second lap even with all the light bullshit. i rolled out for the third lap knowing that i just had to be back before an hour and had an uneventful 43 minute finisher to my ride. below is an interpretation of my pass on regan.

that pic is a slow motion version obviously.

im selling some bikes to pay for my spring break trip up to asheville. go to the goody and buy them please. id really like to see the girl, and the ridings pretty sweet too.

dano out.

Friday, February 15, 2008

oh man i lot of junk has happened since the last time ive written some words on this crap. i've been slacking on the typing and the culprit is sobriety. while i may have better grammer now (thanks for pointing that out fisher, but im not changing it.) its just not as fun. i feel like im religious or something. i've been staying in at night and getting up early and stuff. this ain't gonna last. lets see whats been happening.

mitch an i went out for a st. valentines day massacre ride that consisted of us riding road bikes for 2 hrs at 18 mph and not very bloody at all really. i did find an old picture of mitch and kelly though. check it out.

doesn't really look much like kelly, but they got mitch spot on perfect!

wait till those roadies feel the wrath of mitches secret training technique. its bodacious!!

this weekend is the 12 of santos, which i wasn't planning on racing cause i had to work till 3, but now i'll be on a fun team and get to do a bunch of laps in a row at the end of the day when i get down there. sweet, im stoked. look for me, i'll be the college kid not drinking.

i'm heading over to the villin warehouse next week to test ride my new bike. yeah, its finally (almost) done. 650b wheels, i dunno we'll see on those.

artist of the week- immacculate technique, the angriest dude out right now. i dig it.

less then a month till i get to see the girl. i think thats part of the surlyness...



Monday, February 11, 2008

i made a t shirt today to wear to the first serc race in celebration of my newfound straightedge-ness.

bring it on bitches.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

i typed my name into google image and this what came up. so dan dare it is then.

today was the great gville road race yall. i rolled on down around ten in the morning with full intentions to sign up and race that cat 5 fiasco. i get down and am chilling with the parents watching the masters grind their 3,000 dollar carbon wheels against the curbs when benJAMmin rolls up looking completly disgusted with something. turns out the entry fee after all the addons they make you get is right at $50. what!? this is for 25 minutes of riding guys. thats $2 a minute. two words, fuck that. i'll just keep my money thank you promotors, and way to be encouraging in getting new riders into your sport. i was thinking i might do some road races this year but at that price, i'll just stay home and ride around campus looking at girls tanning themselves. way better then staring at a dudes ass for 30 minutes of sprints. whatever, i'll be on the trails if you need me..

next weekend is the 12hrs of santos. this used to be a razorback classic, kind of an unoffical opener to the new season in the dirty dirty. we'll see how the new venue pans out. i might, might, be on at tentative team with gary yates, victor alber, some south florida cuban, and your truly. it would be a roaster of a squad and might even make some money. who knows though, i might have to work and run all my hopes and dreams. what would i do without racing? oh god please no, racing is my life, its all that matters.

oh wait thats not the case at all. it is fun though, and i like going fast and making motorcycle noises so i fit in well at them.

in other happenings, this sickness that i've been plagued with just won't go away, so im cutting all alchohol out of my system until i feel energised again. this make take a month, may take a week, i don't know. but its got to be done because im becoming (gasp!) a frat boy. party all the time, sleep in, drink everyday, wear flip flops. gotta cut that shit out. especially the flip flops, that shits for fairys.

song for the day- Anthem (we are the fire) by Trivium.

old school riffs in solid new hardcore. perfect. bump this in the ipod while riding and gain an extra couple mph's for free. shit yeah!

dano out.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

"our situation is a tight one, what ya gonna do, fight or run?"-Biggie

haha tomorrow is the gainesville road race for those of you not in the know, and i've been talked into dusting off the roadie and trying my legs out in the crash five with my roommate ben and pretty high five jo. its gonna be interesting and i've already learned that roadies don't like talking shit like us mtb dudes. eh, fuck em. anyhow im gonna try not to get crashed by some dude with his underwear on under his spandex and his jersey tucked into his shorts. wish me luck, im gonna need it to stay alive in this one. especially considering that technical riding is my strong point and power straights are my absolute low point as a rider. ah shit, here we go!! its cool, theres like 4 corners right? and some cobbles and shit. im actually looking forward to it after that shite ride i pulled out at the icycle xc race.

miatch and i went out for a little car dodging ride yesterday and he informed me on the way home that he still hadn't built his tt bike for the race today. did i mention he races pro on the road? i kinda thought he would have wanted a bit more time on his bike than the actual race, but im wrong obviously.

pretty high five seemed a little surly at work today, so being the caring nice guy that i am i found a picture to cheer him up for tommorrow....

Good Luck Pretty!!!!!!!

dano out.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

huckle-booyah gnargoyles

oh man today was awesome. i started out by waking up in a completly unusual fashion. i was awake! i mean like fully functioning lets go use chainsaws dan awake. it was was a little weird, and i stuck to my routine morning practices of filling a mason jar full of coffee and taking a dump while drinking it to not take any chances. i had to go to work and make some loot today so off i went in the clampett, narrowly beating gus's time limit by 15 seconds. it was awesome and makes my record for being on time perfect since the first of the year. gus is sad and very sober.

side note- gus is my boss, also known as the warlock, who makes me buy him a quart of icehouse on the spot when i'm more than five minutes late to work. he then drinks it immediatly and hollers at thick girls from his cave. gus and i get along quite well as you can probably imagine.

later on in the day pretty high five the tricycle tech rolls in, making the day even better because that means i don't have to work with gaybe the fagbot today. fuck yes. build that trike jo! go jo go! howl like a monkey! roar like a bear! build that trike!!

wow that got weird sorry. anyhow after work and a delicious msg filled chinaman meal, i met up with the mitch on his cross bike for a little cross town adventure. He informs me as we start out on our ride out past I-75 that he has a slow leak in his tire but that "i pumped it up really hard so it should be ok for a bit." ummm whatever, im leaving you for dead if you get a flat. we get all the way out to powerlines, this sweet and completly illegal trail system out past santa fe and are having a damn good time when mitch gets a flat. no worries he's got a tube. bounds ( who we randomly ran into in some random woods across town from where we live. strange.) and i just roll on to the next intersection and wait for mitch there. a few minutes later mitch comes flying out of the woods, flat fixed. until we're sitting there and we hear the hiss. mitches ride just turned into the best cross training of his life. run mitch run!! we get him out to a main road, wait till he calls kelly, and i dip out to start my trek back across town. i get rained on the whole way and arrive back at my house around 630 soaking wet. shitty but kinda fun anyhow. another good ride, this is becoming some sort of weird habit. i gotta get a beer. later, dan