Friday, February 27, 2009


Recently i was informed that i'm not allowed to talk shit if i can't back it up.

seems reasonable.

the reasoning was then told to me also. i was told that i always fall short when it comes to my goals.

also seems reasonable.

so what do you do when you can't seem to reach your goals?

do you try harder? do you buy a powertap?

hell no! im an american.

i'll just set lower goals.

so, without further ado i present the newly revised GOALS OF 2009.

1. My previous first goal was to win the Omnium natl championship. this seems rather lofty now.
lets bring it down a few levels. now my goal is to get a top 10 at a sport serc race this year. i think i can do this if i eat my wheaties and pray a lot. i might also invest in a new skinsuit.

2. This was to try and keep up with the young guns. screw that! that means suffering and i don't suffer. New goal is to see just how fast they can drop me. this means i can just continue on drinking beer and not riding and still finish my goal. i bet i can get pulled before 4 minutes in at every short track i race this year.

3. 12 hrs of Tsali. i've got teammates on this one so i can't just blow it off and sit on my couch. so my goal will to be to finish an entire lap without stopping. if im in the shape i think ill be in by then i might be able to pull this one off, but you never know.

ok, so now with the goals revised i think i just might be able to shake the habit of setting high goals and then failing all the time. nobody likes a loser, so i'll try to appease the masses.

and a few more goals before we go...

5 1/2. finally, maybe, hopefully, i'll get over this feline leukemia thats been plaguing me.

6. talk less shit. like a lot less, cause people are pissed.

im sorry,

dano out.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


hehe. floridians.

dano out.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


breaking news/ friendly warning.

3 days until Brevard unleashes Marshal "manimal" Hartley on the SECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC.

WHO is he you ask? This guy.

collegiate racers, you have been warned.

dano out.

Monday, February 23, 2009

hit the road, jack.

Fun little mini trip this weekend, headed out to Knoxville. never really been there, passed through it on the great American road trip but was heading out west and never stopped. My goals where to see Lucero live, which was awesome and to ride Windrock, which got snowed out. that was ok though because i was pretty hungover from the previous nights festivities. Good trip all in all it was nice to not have anything to do with bikes for a weekend and drink fat tires on tap. radibonzical...

any woozers, some of the fellas headed down to the greenville this weekend to do some road racing, which sounded kinda sorta fun. unconfirmed reports have the KOP putting it to the CAT 3 nerd herd with a 3rd place finish and Coach putting his meatplowing skills to the test by barreling right through a downed kestrel like a locomotive on NOS. Housecat Hartley held down with an 11Th place and avoided getting crashed, and St. Marie got lost going there said screw it and came back and rode his mountain bike. word.

I'm also feeling a little better strangely enough considering that all week i did what your supposed to do when your sick, sleep a lot, drink fluids, stay warm, not do exercise, and i just kept getting sicker and sicker. then i hit the weekend and get shithoused at a show, run around in the snow, and wake up the next day feeling 88.34% better. who knows? i do still have the DEATH RATTLE, but I'm under the impression that it never actually leaves me, it just goes to sleep for a bit then comes back. i believe I'm going on three straight years of consistent death rattlage. one day it will kill me...but not yet.

i have to give a shout out to the boys down in Florida for their complete domination of the coed sport class at the 12 hrs of Santos. congrats, you just beat the team that has the chick in soccer shorts riding flat pedals on a $300 hardrock. but hey, y'all looked damn good while doing it, and that's what counts right?

note the shoe covers. the coed sport class is very competitive these days, you need every aerodynamic advantage you can get...

in their defence there wasn't a open money class this year, which is retarded in my mind but whatever.

Dano out.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

in all seriousness

this one might not be what your looking for if you drop by to giggle at what the kid with the jew fro and flower tattoo has been getting into lately. I've been thinking a little lately and yes, it hurts a bit. its like pulling that SS out of the garage after riding your squishy/shifty all year and climbing black mountain trail (which just got a cool writeup in bike mag, NC woot! woot!). anyhow, back to the thinking. i riding up to Avery creek last Saturday afternoon with every ones favorite national champ and we were talking about races, goals, and how hard it is to focus on one aspect of bike racing cause its all pretty fucking rad, except for maybe time trials, cause that shit is gay gay gay. but hey if your David zabriskie maybe its fun. i doubt it though somehow...
off track again sorry, so we're talking about what i want to focus on next year, and how dh is cool but so is xc, and how slalom is rad but so is short track. haha just kidding short track can S on my D. balls deep!! so with out further bullshit i present the GOALS OF 2009 (a.k.a. things I'll probably have forgotten about by the time i go to the bar again.)
  1. Omnium Jersey.

I'm going for it. what does this mean? XC racing and lots of it, i gotta pick up the pace if i wanna get this shit done. I feel like the entire last season i was running at roughly 3/4 speed to what i was racing the year before. why? right after spring break i got bronchitis also known as the DEATH RATTLE. the death rattle will put it to you and mess your shit basically instead of racing all spring and into the summer i went into June with one two races under my belt. June is when my camp job starts and there is no racing until the fall once its underway. sacrifices. this year is different. i won't be at the camp nearly as much, which means I'm racing the whole summer. I'm also chilling with the sycamore crew, and those are some racin' MFers. its a good thing for me. I'm getting this shit done.

2. To not let the young guns off easy.

If all goes to coach squirrels plan, we're gonna have some serious guns at Brevard this year. I've met most of these kids and their all good dudes, but i'm gonna make em work to beat me. not saying they won't just wipe the floor with my old ass, but i'm hoping to at least give em a little fight, like when Old Man Balls hung on the T.Cowie V. Alber big dick contest at the 12 of Tsali a few years ago. we'll see how this one goes.

3. 12 Hrs of Tsali and the TDS.

The shit has been flying since January and this damn race isn't until the end of may. It isnt even a very big event. but theres pride and bragging rights in this on, this is the race we'll talk about all next winter while we sit at the shop looking at our powercrap readouts. (i'll be looking at Monkey Sex.) Even though when the shit talk started i said i wasn't getting involved, i've been slinging it with the best of em already. Basically, we gotta win this one, hell, we gotta beat most of the open money field, or we'll never hear the end of it.

so we'll keep it short and simple right now, 3 goals. i may have more later or i may forget this shit and keep on keepin on, you never know...

Dano out.

"one by one we'll slowly fade away, one by one we'll fade away!! But in the end we'll see if what we did was wrong, and we'll see what made us strong!!!!!!" -Casey Jones

Friday, February 13, 2009

chainsaw wielding killers and fair weather fairys, it must be friday the 13th!!

yep, the second greatest day of the year is upon us, soon to be followed by more awesomeness in the form of valentines day. why is valentines day so awesome you ask? did you get a girl you ask? hell, no those things make you soft, just watch Rocky.

"your not sleeping with that woman are you? Women weaken legs!!" -Mickey Goldmill

so why is valentines day so rad, especially when backed up to the 13th? the valentines day massacre and jason....brutal.


= holy shit!! run bitches!!!

yep, theres the math. don't go in the woods tonight. In other news, we had a dawn patrol ride today, left black mountain trailhead with a hardy crew including ms. clownshoes, the jockey, KOP, kel and jamie. (sorry k and J either you don't have a dumb Nickname yet or i don't know it, you could look at it in two ways, good or bad. ) the chinaman at the pagoda of gluttony told me it was right at 30 when i was heading to the forest, so it was a bit chilly, nothing bad though unless your a fair weather fairy like some unnamed folks....

now thats just funny.
don't go in the woods tonight or you might get chopped to bits....

One last thing before i go, heres a quote i stumbled upon that made me think of some folks...

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

-Rocky Balboa
enough of this sappy shit, go ride your damn bikes. or dance. both are awesome.
Dano out.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

70 and sunny.

sorry for the lack of posts, but its beautiful out.

get off Al Gores internet and go ride your bikes.

dano out.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT. (part deuce deuce.)

yeah yeah i know i used it again, but damn that titles too good not to use for this pic. what do we have here? ebenezer fane (who i believe stayed drunk during his entire time in the state of north Carolina) expressing his love with our boy mitch. mmmmm delicious.

ICYCLE 2009.
we haven't seen a list in a while, so I'm bringing it back. take it and love it.

-1. dancing- should be mandatory for all events in life and the icycle didn't disappoint, with man grinding, mud break dancing, people on shoulders, chad banner (enough said), and general awesomeness abounding.

  1. Dh racing is rad, but XC racing makes me want to repeatedly hit myself in the dick with a wiffle ball bat. not that XC isn't cool as hell, more that i'm pretty much in the worst xc shape I've ever been in. I know that i'm supposed to be a gravity racer now or something, but its hard to let go of something you've been kicking ass at for 15 years or so.

  2. Beer me!!!!!

  3. BC cycling and Sycamore cycles pretty much rocked the house all weekend when it came to stepping on podiums. we also had the drunkest, most country cheering/heckling squad I've ever seen at a bike race posted up at the propane heaters all night. I'm talking about you Kel bond and Chad banner......awesomeness.

  4. flying through the air at full speed in the dark woods wearing a road bike helmet will make you shit your pants every time.

  5. a big thanks to the fl boys for making the trip up from the flatstate. its one long ass drive, but it was cool to hang with all y'all. hope you had fun!!

  6. see you all at the icycle next year!!

Dano out.

p.s.- i beat st. marie.