Saturday, December 27, 2008

it has been brought to my attention

that i should tell you a story. its a story of pain, preservence, triumph over the hated powertap, and hope for the future. its the story of the crash. its a story of good friends and good times.

the time was last sunday morning, the place was dupont. we met at coaches house (i love calling thad coach because he does almost nothing for me in the way of coaching, he's just a good dude to me. i don't mind, getting coached isn't much fun- ive been there. i prefer that he uses his time with people who care about that stuff.) anyways, we met a coaches house at the early hour of 10 am. i didnt like this because i didnt get to sleep much the night before. i wasnt hungover though, which was good. i have a roommate with a thirst, we'll leave it at that. so we eat waffles and bacon and everything else that is good and then we put on our tights and go prance around in the woods together. i was wearing white because im a virgin, and wes d was wearing black because he is not. at least i would assume not because of his kid, but you never know.... anyhow, we're prancing, spanking each other and such all over the mtns having a grand ol time riding our pedal scooters on a cool mtn day. towards the end of the ride, after wes's "shortcut" that put us right back where we'd just came from, we end up having to ride down the paved road to the next trail. im cool with this because im a roadie and id just put a fresh coat of oil on my shaven legs in an attempt to be cool like the horse tamer. did i mention the white suit. yes i was beautiful, like a mexican jesus or maybe a golden buddha. anywo, we're bombing down this road, shralping the gnar fully aero tucked-like, when chris bennett decides its time for him to feed off me. he heads on over to my airspace and gently places his hand firmly on my buttocks in a sort of nongay manpat. then his handlebar gets caught in my jersey at 35 mph and he goes down like a hooker in a dirty public restroom. boom! i got catapulted over the bars shortly (like a quarter second) afterwards. i hit the ground and exploded all over the road, i swear i was on fire or at least smelled like it. fortunately because i was dressed so splendidly, almost shimmering in my virginal glory, i was unharmed as was my bike. chris however had a few issues, like a fox fork that was now missing its brace and a blowed up elbow. bummer. we called the meatwagon to get chris home and then limped it on back to the house, but not before pointing and laughing at a small child crashing. this is because we are assholes- no way around that.

and the lord spoketh it, and it was pronounced the truth.


dano out.

p.s.- this pic has nothing to do with this story, hell its not even north carolina. but it is me. ah skeet!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

when its time to party.....

we party hard.

-andrew w.k.

in about an hour, this kids heading to florida. so so stoked. im packing my bike, liver, and swim trunks. ill be meeting up with pretty jo and bitchin mitch at hanna park tommorrow afternoon for a little sand rumble at the trails that started this whole thing for me. afterwards we'll be heading to the cougar den for beers and god knows where the night will lead us. i can't wait!

pretty was telling me a awesome story this morning by the way that involved him , le bitch, some shovels and cones and someones driveway. ask him about it when yo see him, it'll change your life.

can't lie, i miss these dudes a lot. its fun as hell when we get together though.

see yall in the panhandle of paradise!!!!

dano out.

this is now the only white suit in existance. mine hit the pavement at 35 mph this weekend. wear it with pride mitch!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

why you comin home,

five in the morn, somethings going on, LEMME SMELL YO DICK..

i like monster truckin, been riding my big bike, its fun. it kinda warmed up here lately, which ive been taking advantage of by actually riding my bike. its cool.

i was checking some ones blog today and i came across a statement calling a mtn bike a training tool. in honor of this tool move, I'm gonna start calling all my bikes training tools. hell, that case of beer i got last night was a training beverage, which makes the SAV MOR a bonafied training center. i live across the street from a training center, which i can ride my training tool too, and get some training beverages so i can train in the mtns of busch. this is good. i will be well trained come spring. here's one more train before we bury this stupid subject....

that's how i feel about that. every one of those koalas have a powertap by the way. i swear.

in other news, I'm gonna have another roommate n the farmhouse soon. he's from Florida, he likes to ride his bike till it falls apart (which happens a lot honestly), and he's got a shiny new diploma.

here's a pic. i think we'll get along.

don't do any thing shady or ill have to smell your dicks,

dano out.

p.s.- Ive been feeding off Chris Bennett. its delicious.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Someones spyin'...

Intercepted this morning: Pirate Doug taking spy photos of the Brevard cycling team at weightlifting practice. Here's one he got of Matt wells.

fortunately he was apprehended before he could make it back to banner elk in the SHRTHRD mobile.

dano out.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

ever since i was a seed the only thing promised to me was a penitentry.


Tupac ain't dead, y'all. he's hiding out with Elvis up in Canada. whistler to be exact, heard that dude can throw a mean tabletop.

A conversation i had with my momma the other day got me thinking a bit. usually talks with my mom go along the lines of "i need money" followed by "tough shit". we were talking about school though, and she was telling me to buckle down and handle my shit, cause i got nothing to fall back on. i didn't really think about it too much at the time, but a little later i was out riding and it popped back up in my head, this whole college thing. i was thinking about this time last year i was flunking out of school for the 4th time and barely getting by down in gville. i was floundering and going nowhere, except to the bar. fast forward and I'm here, life is good. stressful at times, but good. i guess what I'm saying is I'm here and this is an opportunity that i didn't really deserve but I'm gonna run with it as far and hard as i can, cause like my mom said i got nothing where i came from. my plan is to make this my motivating factor for the next year, school and racing wise. we'll see where it goes.

don't worry though, I'll still get drunk and throw cans in the fan.

somethings never change.

dano out.