Friday, November 28, 2008

You're Fat.

man, thanksgiving is the shit!! i just got fatter and fatter yesterday. i bet i couldn't even make 1 lap at eddies pumptrack now without have a cholesterol induced heart attack taking me from this world. its just that awesome.

oh man, my brother the mini bear just got this fancy gaps unit. i don't really like GPS units cause they remind me of my number one most hated object on earth.
POWERTAP.

anyways,this GPS was firing off heading to my aunts yesterday with the fam, and it was all cool until we needed to go to her house. then it gave us 4 right turns in a row and put us right back on the highway. The old man just about threw it out the window, which was awesome. joey would have been sooo bummed and i would have laughed even more. he was pissed.

whatever, family time is good. i don't see enough of my folks since i moved to the great white north.

check it out - I'm gonna start doing triathlons. cool huh?



I'm still working on my wind tunnels tests but i should be ready for domination by the spring thawing.

I heard a nasty little rumor that our buddy St. Marie might be out for 6 months with a busted knee. That truly sucks dude. get well soon.

by the way, you think i could borrow your new road bike? you know being that your not really using it an all...

same team dude.

dano out.



Wednesday, November 26, 2008

im fat.

so so fat, i weighed myself today and I'm a 155 pounds of pure white blubber. mmmmm delicious. i love not racing or riding really. i can feel my gut right now sitting here, the huge taco bell burrito trying (unsuccessfully) to be digested in my stomach, only to go straight to my huge child bearing hips. hey at least my pants might stay up now. i feel like I'm a dancer in a Lil Jon video most of the time. YEEEEEAAAHHH!!! getting fat is the best thing ever, though. it gives me an excuse to drive my truck to school, cause I'm too fat to walk; drive my truck to the grocery store that's 100 yards away, cause I'm too fat to walk; drive my truck to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, cause I'm too fat to walk. you get the picture. hopefully ill be able to keep up with mike v. in an eating contest soon. YEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

OK, so besides the fact that I'm a humongous lardass (the crowning achievement of my life to date, by the way) my buddy Joe came up this weekend with two roadies who shall remain nameless.







they were lame, so we gave them timeout in their room.




yep, Joe and i had a damn good time, the pretty and fancy show was in full effect all weekend from the moment Joe showed up till the second he left. There's a good chance that Joe's gonna be up here all Summer this year, I'm just about fully convinced Brevard might burn to the ground if that happened.

we'd be damn useless at the least, that's for sure.

oh i got my ass kicked by a girl too!







yes, i even tried my secret move. you know the one, you have to press double down left left right on the controller to activate it. unfortunately i was side stepped from my my divebomb couch berm shot. damn.


better luck next time, punk.

this ones for the girls,

Dano out.



"my body stay vicious, i be up in the gym just workin on my fitness"

Monday, November 17, 2008

buy the ticket, take the ride.

Its been a bit chilly lately. I took a few days off the bottle, not that im drinking a lot, but its always good to take a break. of course this clean living got me sick as hell, or maybe it was that 1 am swim in the french broad sat night that did it. who knows and whatever. can't be changed now. I've got my winter training plan pretty much worked out at this point-very scientific i know! let me through it out there for ya so we can go ride sometime.

mon.- this day is bad, i always feel terrible and stressed about the weeks shit that i gotta get done. no bicycle magic today, its all about homework and real work. bummer.

tues.- Hopefully i've been good and done some work so today i can go ride bikes. usually a good mtb ride in the pisgah and maybe some cross racing at brevard to wrap up the day. Or i just watch movies and eat bbq. you never know.

weds.- all about the pumptrack at eddies. its got lights and is pretty damn fun. good times.

thurs.- lets take it to the slalom track and then over to sycamore for their night ride. awesome.

fri.- out at 1130 and hopefully on my bike for a long ride. afterwards its probably party time.

sat- i party. and ride. scientifically.

sun- more of the same.



jesus is my homeboy,

dano out.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Roast em for jesus!

oh man. i wish i could do that.





I just registered(possibly) for something really dumb. i'm keeping my lips sealed till its offical but trust me its gonna suck. looking forward to it. i'll keep you posteed.





i thought the florida boys were coming up this weekend but evidently global warming has dried florida out to the point that the they all live in a constant state of sandyvag. sorry about your condition pretty. get well soon.





im gonna go do some homework now so i don't get kicked out of paradise in less than a semester.



Dano out.



Friday, October 31, 2008

I don't wanna think about it, i don't really care,

i don't wanna think about the who what when or where.

-Agent Orange

Ah yes the end of race season. I can't lie, I'm looking forward to a bit slower pace around these parts. Its gonna be good to ride around in the woods and drink a few more beers. The good life if you will.

lets see, we had a little race last weekend call Collegiate Natls, I'll spare you the details cause everyone else already beat that horse to a pulp. We got 4th as a team, i got 4th in the individual omnium and 3rd in Slalom, and we all froze our asses off and are glad to be home. thanks to everybody for their support this year.

more importantly, i built a new fire pit at my house this week. its huge and i could burn a car in it, which i just might do if it gets any colder. My roomie sass-mouth and I are trying to be all green and shit and therefore set our thermometer at 45 degrees for the heat to come on in the house. Its been on for the past three nights, which means death is imminent from hypothermia in my house if i don't wear my fur coat, short skirt, and ugg boots 24/7.








which i do.








because I'm from Florida.












here's a little shot of the slalom last weekend.






that's me vs moto mike from app state, dudes got skills.

it's a good thing i hit him with a toxic death fart 2 seconds after this pic and was able to out sprint him on account of him not being able to breath.


SHRTHRD.


Word on the streets is pretty muthafuckin jo is heading the way with a group of rowdypants fun timers from the swamp city next weekend. I'll believe it when i see them in my House, but I'll be hoping none the less. if they do make it, anybody participating in the swank will be lucky to make it past our rest stop without being physically or emotionally scarred. I'll leave it at that.


oh hey its Halloween, the best day of the year. unless your a weirdo religious person, but then you pretty much suck so whatever. anywho, everybody needs to put on something ridiculous and go make bad decisions fueled by alcohol. its the cool thing to do.


This pretty much sums it up. Ian Knabe, heading straight for the mouth (or ass) of the beast.
















In the spirit of the greatest holiday of the year i leave you with this band.







The Misfits.



Dano out.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Brevard College is going to Natls as a team!!!

"all those Brevard Natural Disaster kids (a talented little cyclone they got a-twisting there...watch out for them this collegiate season)" -Kylie Krauss

thanks Kylie, we're trying down here.


One more weekend, its a big one. who can keep it together is the question of the day....


listen to slayer,

dano out.

Monday, October 13, 2008

STRIKE HARD,

strike first. - Casey Jones

casey jones, not only a famous folklore about a railroad engineer but one of the best hardcore bands ever out of the 904. sometimes you just need a little hate in your head and a little tobasco and whiskey in your belly.

conference champs were this past weekend in clempson kids. this was a last ditch effort for a lot of people to go to natls, and the last chance for me to get a win before national champs. in case you didnt know, ive been doing a whole lot of nothing this season exept kicking myself in the dick. im glad to finally shake off a bit of the sucks and actually ride decent. yay me.


What you can't see in this pic is the alcohol fumes coming out of my pores. delicious!


























2 wins. slalom and dh. mom would be so proud.

oh i also sold my singlespeed, so thats like three wins.

and thad walker owes me taco bell. i just want that to be public knowledge.

dano out.